PRESENTERS TO SPEAK ON
LEGAL AND FINANCIAL PLANNING ISSUES
Our July 14 meeting will feature Melissa Starks and Thomas Sullivan who will speak to us about legal and financial planning issues. Following are their bios.
Bring your friends and join this most informative session. We begin at 3pm. See column at right for meeting place.
MELISSA STARKS
Melissa Starks is a Financial Consultant with US Bancorp Investments. She assists clients with their investments and insurance needs, and has worked extensively to bring sound financial planning to the gay/lesbian community. She has been in the financial services industry since 1996.
Mrs. Starks, holds a BA from Bradley University in Peoria, IL, and has earned an LUTCF designation from the Life Underwriters Training Council. Melissa has twice received the National Sales Achievement Award from the National Association of Insurance and Financial Professionals (NAIFP). She serves on the board of directors for the Greater Kansas City Women in Insurance and Financial Services chapter (WIFS), and has held past board positions with Alternative Professionals Together (APT).
Melissa lives in Kansas City with her husband Steven and their two shelties. They are active participants in the Kansas City Renaissance Festival.
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Thomas H. Sullivan, J.D.
Thomas H. Sullivan was born and raised in Phillipsburg, Kansas. He attended the University of Kansas where he earned a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Accounting. He earned his Juris Doctor from the University of Kansas Law School and returned to Phillipsburg to join his family firm of Sullivan and Sullivan.
In partnership with his father, Tom has had a diverse law practice including litigation, criminal law, corporate law, banking, taxation, probate and estate planning. In recent years he has concentrated his practice in estate planning and related areas.
Tom is a Charter member of the National Network of Estate Planning Attorneys, a member of the Probate and Estate Planning Section of the Kansas Bar Association, and a member of the Bar Association's Ethics and Grievance Committee. He is a past director and officer of the County Counselors Association and a director of the Huck Boyd Foundation.
Tom maintains offices in Overland Park and Phillipsburg, Kansas and represents clients in matters from simple to complex, involving estate planning, asset protection, tax planning, revocable living trusts, wills, probate, incapacity, guardianships, conservatorships, retirement planning, business succession and charitable giving.
FROM OUR PRESIDENT
Wow!!! What a wonderful Gay Pride Parade Kansas City had this year. And...there was PFLAG marching behind our banner. PFLAG was cheered and thanked and it felt so fantastic to be part of the outpouring of glbt people, their families and friends. The Pride Parade and Festival always reminds me of how courageous are the glbt people who come out. I believe that coming out is the most important political gay advocacy act one can take. I believe that's true, not only for glbt people, but for families and friends also. Whenever we share that we have glbt loved ones and that we embrace them just as they are, we are taking a stand for justice and equality.
This past week, Kansas City witnessed the appearance of right wing Christian James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" coming here to "convert" and "repair" glbt people. It saddens and angers me that 1,100 people from 16 states attended his meeting at a local Baptist church. There were also demonstrators from the glbt community and its friends making the statement that "Love Welcomes All". Hopefully they were a reminder to those attending the Dobson meeting that there are a whole lot of people out here who respect, accept and love glbt people as they are. In fact, we are grateful for the great and important contributions made by glbt people to our culture, our history and our lives.
The Dobson appearance in Kansas City reminds me that PFLAG and other gay and gay-friendly organizations continue to be necessary to make the world safe for glbt people. The presence of the haters means that we must continue to be visible and vigorous in defense of the safety and well-being of our glbt family members and friends. Our voices must continue to be heard by glbt people and their families so that they know there are options - loving and welcoming options - to the messages of hate and exclusion they face.
So, support PFLAG, attend meetings, learn about being an active member, carry our message of support, education, and advocacy of gay rights and gay people to the larger community. I hope to see lots of PFLAGers at our July 14 meeting.
Helen Cohen
Dear PFLAG Members and Friends:
I thank your national board, executive search committee and national staff for choosing me as your executive director - I intend fully to honor the faith all of you have placed in me. And I strongly urge you to join us in Columbus, Ohio September 28-30 where we will be convening our biennial conference, PFLAG: Family Voices for Equality.
Hundreds of PFLAG families from across the country will meet, share meals, good conversation and ideas together, and renew our energy and optimism for the important work we provide on behalf of our national commitment to the advancement of civil rights.
For more information on Family Voices for Equality, please visit our website,
www.pflag.org, contact your local chapter or regional leaders or call our ever-ready team of FPP Department staff at (202) 467-8180.
David Tseng
Executive Director
SPEAK OUT..............
This "letter to the editor" of the KC Star should have been included in the previous month's newsletter. Many thanks to Helen and Penny for "speaking out."
To the Editor:
Each of us is a mother of wonderful children - admirable, honest productive people who work hard and are assets to their families, communities and their country. Some of our children enjoy full civil and human rights throughout America. Each of us also has a child who is denied many of the rights and privileges his brothers and sisters possess because biology determined that he is gay. Our gay children are in danger of being victims of hate crimes; they experience discrimination in housing and employment. They are persecuted by unjust legislation, by homophobic bigotry and by unequal social practices.
Our Mother's Day wish is for justice and equality for our gay children. We wish that our gay children could openly affirm their sexual orientation and be accepted as are our straight children. Our wish for our gay children is freedom from harassment, prejudice and unfairness. We wish for them the equality that their brothers and sisters have.
Helen Cohen and Penny Henry on behalf of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays- Kansas City (PFLAG-KC)
Benefits for gay couples not new
Many private schools in New Hampshire offer coverage
By Keith Meatto, Monitor staff
By extending health coverage to homosexual couples, Concord is blazing a trail among New Hampshire public schools but following the lead of the state's private schools.
Gay teachers in Concord can get health insurance for their partners beginning in September, according to a recently settled contract. But these benefits already exist at St. Paul's School, Philips Exeter Academy, Proctor Academy and New Hampton School. Educators expect more private and public schools to follow suit.
"It's a logical next step," said Steve Clem, executive director of the Association of Independent Schools in New England. "Diversity discussions at schools have enlightened people beyond issues of race and class and into sexuality."
Eligibility varies by school. Insurance companies require couples to sign paperwork affirming their commitment as domestic partners. The policy aims to distinguish true couples from frivolous ones.
The term "domestic partner" includes both homosexual and heterosexual couples at Proctor Academy and the New Hampton School. "We don't discriminate based on sexuality," said New Hampton business manager Jill Duncan.
St. Paul's and Exeter, both boarding schools where teachers live on campus, now offer faculty housing for homosexual couples. The first couple at St. Paul's will move into their new quarters when school resumes this fall.
"It's inevitable that it will come up more in schools," said Peter Barnum, admissions director at Holderness School. "It's certainly coming up more in the workplace."
Nearly 4,500 companies nationwide offer domestic partner benefits, according to the Human Rights Campaign, an advocacy group in Washington, D.C. The list includes 160 corporations on the Fortune 500.
In New Hampshire, private schools and higher education institutions have clearly taken the lead. In 1998, New Hampton School and Dartmouth College adopted domestic partner benefits. The University of New Hampshire followed in 2000.
"I think it's the responsibility of private schools to be in the vanguard," Anderson said. "If we're not, we're just bastions of elitism."
Why did they have to tell us?
Some parents feel they would have been happier not knowing about their child's sexuality. They look back to before they knew and recall this time as problem-free - overlooking the distance they often felt from their child during that time.
Sometimes we try to deny what is happening by rejecting what we're hearing ("It's just a phase; you'll get over it"); shutting down ("If you choose that lifestyle, I don't want to hear about it"); or not registering the impact of what we're being told ("That's nice, dear, and what do you want for dinner?"). These are all natural reactions.
However, if you did not know the truth about your child's sexuality, you would never really know your child. A large part of his or her life would be kept secret from you, and you would never really know the whole person.
It is important to accept and understand your child's sexuality because homosexuality and bisexuality are not phases.
While people may experiment for some time with their sexuality, someone who has reached the point of telling a parent that he or she is gay is not usually going through a phase. Generally, he or she has given long and hard thought to understanding and acknowledging his or her sexual orientation.
So if you're wondering, "Is she sure?" the answer will almost always be yes. Telling a parent that you think you're gay involves overcoming too many negative stereotypes and taking far too much risk for anyone to take that step lightly or prematurely.
The fact that your son or daughter told you is a sign of his or her love and need for your support and understanding. It took a lot of courage. And it shows a very strong desire for an open, honest relationship with you - a relationship in which you can love your child for who he or she is, rather than for whom you want him or her to be.
SQUARE DANCE OPEN HOUSE
Sunday, July 14, 6:00 pm at Spirit of Hope MCC, 3801 Wyandotte, Kansas City MO, the Show-Me Squares dance club is holding an open house. ALL are welcome. Refreshments will be served. The new class, which will meet every Sunday from 4-6 pm at the same location, will begin the following week. The club's motto is, Square dancing is friendship set to music. If you ever wanted to do this enjoyable activity, now's your chance. C U N A [ ]! (translation: see you in a square!)
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