Articles From Our October, 2003 Newsletter
Gay Rights Counselor To Speak
"Families Coming Out to be topic
"Families Coming Out to be topic
Our October 12 meeting will feature guest speaker Keith Spare. Keith is a licensed professional counselor. He has been active in gay rights since before Stonewall (1967) when he helped plan the National Conference of Homophile Organizations when they met in Kansas City. He participated in organizing annual gay rights marches and events for nearly 15 years starting with the first one in 1973. He founded the GAY TALK help line in 1975. He has been an openly gay professional counselor since 1975. He taught a college level course at Kansas State University in 1975 on Homosexuality. He has since lectured and trained both locally and nationally. In the eighties he helped Phillis Shaefer found the Kansas City Chapter of Parents and Friends of Gays. He served on the Mayor's Commission on Human Rights under Mayor Berkley. He served as Co-Chair of the Mayor's Commission on Lesbian and Gay Concerns and was liaison to Mayor Cleaver throughout his term. He currently is an openly gay member of the State Committee for Professional Counselors and was appointed both by Governors Carnahan and Holden.
This will be a program you won’t want to miss. Bring your family and acquaintances and join us at 3pm, Sunday, October 12, at Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Road, Room 307.
This will be a program you won’t want to miss. Bring your family and acquaintances and join us at 3pm, Sunday, October 12, at Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Road, Room 307.
Two gay Englishmen came to Gandhi in the 1930s and asked him what he thought of their relationship. The Mahatma asked some questions and for a short time fell silent.
Then he said, “The greatest gift God gives us is another person to love.”
Placing the hands of each man in the other’s, he quietly and with a smile asked, “Who are we to question God’s choice?”
Then he said, “The greatest gift God gives us is another person to love.”
Placing the hands of each man in the other’s, he quietly and with a smile asked, “Who are we to question God’s choice?”
My PFLAG story began in Dec. of 2002. My sons were home from college on Christmas break when my friend Sally called. She too, was back in town from Massachusetts to see her family and we decided to meet for breakfast. The timing couldn't have been better because my husband and I suspected that our 18-year-old son was gay and I wanted her advice on how to approach the subject with him. In addition to being an incredible friend and H.S. guidance counselor, I knew her to be a committed Christian and a lesbian. Her advice was quite simple really. "Just ask him," she said "but make it soon so that you have the rest of the time that he's home to SHOW him that it makes no difference to you-that you love him unconditionally." She gave me loads of encouragement and sent me home with a list of books and web sites she knew would be helpful. However, the next few days were torturous for his father and me. The "what ifs" plagued us. We knew how we felt about our son, but we also knew that this new piece of information would change our lives forever. We found some quiet time two days later. Looking back, I'm not sure who was more nervous-my son or my husband and I. For lack of a better way, we simply said "John, are you gay?" The moment he said yes we all burst into tears. Those tears carried a multitude of emotions-relief in the telling-relief in the knowing-fear for our son’s well being-the potential rejection of friends and extended family, etc., but MOST OF ALL the overwhelming grief that our precious son had struggled with, dealing with this knowledge for years on his own. I asked him why he hadn't told us sooner and I'll never forget the look on his face when he said, "I was terrified".
At this point I need to share two very important things. The first is that we are a very close family. My husband and I had been married for 23 years- all of us very active in our local schools and church. The second is that our children grew up in a home where sexual orientation was never discussed. Even though I had suspected for some time that John might be gay, I guess I felt that if we didn't discuss it, none of our children would see being gay as an option. (As if one could simply make that choice!) How very foolish we were.
That initial conversation wasn't really very long- we expressed our fears and our love for each other and, most importantly, we hugged each other tightly. He told us that his older brother and close friends already knew. News Flash! Parents are generally the last to know.
Now that it was out in the open, we refused to be ignorant any longer. My husband left immediately for the library, armed with the list of recommended books, and John and I got on the Internet.
John had always been outgoing, but during those next few weeks we noticed that he was more at peace. It was a wonderful Christmas for us all. I remember later saying to my husband that I was awestruck by the amazing gift we'd been given: that John trusted us and loved us enough to tell us the truth. That will be treasured forever.
When the boys headed back to their schools, we realized how important it was to be in contact with other people who knew what we were going through. Like my husband says "we had to get out of the stupid zone overnight." That's when I called PFLAG! We were warmly greeted and, as promised, there was much laughter. We made instant connections because our common bond was that we were all in search of good, non-agenda driven information and we loved our gay friends and family.
This new piece of information has indeed changed our lives-for the better. Our relationship with our son has gotten closer and we've grown stronger and closer as a family. My circle of friends has broadened immensely because I forced myself out of the closet. I look forward to being the president of a group that I feel so passionate about-because of what it's meant to me and for what it represents to the gay community!!
Jamie Lee
At this point I need to share two very important things. The first is that we are a very close family. My husband and I had been married for 23 years- all of us very active in our local schools and church. The second is that our children grew up in a home where sexual orientation was never discussed. Even though I had suspected for some time that John might be gay, I guess I felt that if we didn't discuss it, none of our children would see being gay as an option. (As if one could simply make that choice!) How very foolish we were.
That initial conversation wasn't really very long- we expressed our fears and our love for each other and, most importantly, we hugged each other tightly. He told us that his older brother and close friends already knew. News Flash! Parents are generally the last to know.
Now that it was out in the open, we refused to be ignorant any longer. My husband left immediately for the library, armed with the list of recommended books, and John and I got on the Internet.
John had always been outgoing, but during those next few weeks we noticed that he was more at peace. It was a wonderful Christmas for us all. I remember later saying to my husband that I was awestruck by the amazing gift we'd been given: that John trusted us and loved us enough to tell us the truth. That will be treasured forever.
When the boys headed back to their schools, we realized how important it was to be in contact with other people who knew what we were going through. Like my husband says "we had to get out of the stupid zone overnight." That's when I called PFLAG! We were warmly greeted and, as promised, there was much laughter. We made instant connections because our common bond was that we were all in search of good, non-agenda driven information and we loved our gay friends and family.
This new piece of information has indeed changed our lives-for the better. Our relationship with our son has gotten closer and we've grown stronger and closer as a family. My circle of friends has broadened immensely because I forced myself out of the closet. I look forward to being the president of a group that I feel so passionate about-because of what it's meant to me and for what it represents to the gay community!!
Jamie Lee
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 30th Anniversary on the Steps of NYC City Hall
Thursday September 18, 8:02 am ET
Featuring 'CALL TO ACTION AGAINST HATE' by Latona Gunn and Amina Baraka, Mothers of Sakia Gunn and Shani Baraka, Murdered in GLBT Hate Crimes
NEW YORK, Sept. 18 /PRNewswire/ -- Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), the nation's foremost family-based organization committed to the civil rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) persons, celebrates its 30th anniversary with a year of remembrance, advocacy and pride. Founded in 1973 in New York City by one concerned mother and her gay son, PFLAG is now active in all fifty states, boasts almost 500 chapters, and counts on over 250,000 members and supporters.
PFLAG's year-long series of 30th anniversary programs will begin with a press conference at noon on the steps of New York City Hall. The event will feature a "Call To Action Against Hate," by Latona Gunn and Amina Baraka and a Mayoral Proclamation recognizing the organization's historic roots in New York City and importance of its mission. Speakers Sam Thoron, PFLAG national president, and David Tseng, PFLAG Executive Director, will be joined by elected officials, including US Congressman Jerrold Nadler, Manhattan Borough President C. Virginia Fields, City Council Speaker Gifford Miller and City Council members Tom Duane, Christine Quinn, Alan Gerson and others.
PFLAG's year-long series of 30th anniversary programs will begin with a press conference at noon on the steps of New York City Hall. The event will feature a "Call To Action Against Hate," by Latona Gunn and Amina Baraka and a Mayoral Proclamation recognizing the organization's historic roots in New York City and importance of its mission. Speakers Sam Thoron, PFLAG national president, and David Tseng, PFLAG Executive Director, will be joined by elected officials, including US Congressman Jerrold Nadler, Manhattan Borough President C. Virginia Fields, City Council Speaker Gifford Miller and City Council members Tom Duane, Christine Quinn, Alan Gerson and others.
"It is most appropriate that we kick off PFLAG's 30th anniversary events in New York City," said Thoron, "because of the city's proud history as the birthplace of the gay rights movement and of our own organization, dedicated to supporting inclusion, fairness and equality for all."
In the hopes that you will get this before Sunday, Oct. 5, Don’t forget “Out in Westport” which will be in full swing from 11am - 6pm.
Plan now to join in
The 9th Annual
OUT IN
WESTPORT!
Sunday, October 5th
11:00am - 6:00pm
The day is near for the Center's annual street fair and community information expo celebrating National Coming Out Day and Gay & Lesbian History Month .
At this year's OUT IN WESTPORT... in addition to the art booths, book sale and dog contests ...you'll be treated to
main stage entertainment provided by 90.1 KKFI's THE TENTH VOICE plus an all-new youth carnival. The afternoon of fun concludes with the 1st Annual Midwest Times Chili Cook-off & Dinner.
21 COMPANIES SCORE 100 PERCENT ON SECOND ANNUAL HRC CORPORATE EQUALITY INDEX
Number of Perfect Scores Nearly Doubles from Last Year;
Corporate America Recognizing that Equality Works
WASHINGTON — The Human Rights Campaign today released its second annual Corporate Equality Index, which measures how the largest U.S. companies treat their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees and consumers. This year's report showed a total of 21 major U.S. corporations earned 100 percent ratings. That number is almost twice as many as in 2002, when 11 major companies earned a perfect score.
Number of Perfect Scores Nearly Doubles from Last Year;
Corporate America Recognizing that Equality Works
WASHINGTON — The Human Rights Campaign today released its second annual Corporate Equality Index, which measures how the largest U.S. companies treat their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees and consumers. This year's report showed a total of 21 major U.S. corporations earned 100 percent ratings. That number is almost twice as many as in 2002, when 11 major companies earned a perfect score.
" What we see this year is improvement in every category measured, from written non-discrimination policies to domestic partner health insurance benefits and beyond. Corporate America continues to be a leader in the quest for GLBT civil rights," said HRC Education Director Kim I. Mills, who oversees
HRC WorkNet, the organization's workplace project. "The bottom line is that successful businesses are increasingly recognizing that equality works."
PFLAG SUPPORTS REAL FAMILY VALUES