Articles From Our August, 2004 Newsletter

Come join us on Sunday, August 8, at 3pm and be challenged by a presentation by MAINstream Coalition. Many of us may know very little about this organization, but we all would do well to get much better acquainted.

MAINstream Coalition is a non-partisan, non-sectarian organization which strives to preserve separation of church and state, freedom of religion and speech, pluralism, individual rights, the importance of the family, public education, and tolerance and compassion for all.

We educate and inform citizens, elected and appointed officials and political candidates about issues of concern and attempts to impose religious ideologies upon our governmental and public education institutions.

In 1993, a group of concerned Johnson County, Kansas residents formed the MAINstream Coalition, a non-partisan, grassroots citizen organization. They wanted to counteract efforts by sectarian and political extremists to undermine our Constitutional freedoms and the separation of church and state.

An acronym for Moderate Association of Informed Neighbors, the MAINstream Coalition consists of religious, political, business and community leaders who represent the moderate voice of reason grounded in the principles of the U.S. Constitution.

In 1998, the MAINstream Education Foundation was formed to fund community educational activities, and the MAINstream Political Action Committee was formed to engage in political activities.

“Friends” of the coalition include such well-known names as:

• “People for the American Way”
• “Americans United for the Separation of Church and State”
• “Interfaith Alliance”
• “Center for New Community”
• “Privacy Rights Education Project”
• “Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice.”

• Rev. Bob Meneilly, former pastor of Village Presbyterian Church
• Rev. Emanuel Cleaver
• Rep. Tim VanZant

Good names.

Come join us on the 8th!!!!

From Our President

I know that I tend to take a "Pollyanna" approach to most things in my life but, truthfully, I am rarely disappointed by it. Twice in the last three weeks I have been honored to be part of a panel discussion on sexual orientation for the Anytown Youth Leadership Conference.

The National Conference for Community and Justice puts together two week-long "Anytown" camps each summer. The goal of the Institute is to teach young people to overcome prejudice and discrimination by fostering interaction between delegates of various backgrounds, and teaching leadership and communication skills that will enable them to create positive change in their environment.

Each day at Anytown has a theme dealing with oppression, bias and bigotry. Many of these kids, like my daughter, have many opportunities to attend band, theatre, and choir camps but chose to attend this one instead. I know many people today who are still fighting for social justice because of their Anytown experience. Approximately seventy young people from all around Kansas City will have finished their camp experience by the time you get this newsletter...seventy bright shiny faces eager to make a difference in the world around them. They were respectful with their questions to the panel (if not brutally honest) and what they expected from us was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!

I know that these young people will now be viewing the world through a new lens. Some of them will quietly work for positive changes and others will have a fire in their bellies so hot they’ll be forced to carry signs, write letters, speak out, and maybe even run for public office one day.

The struggle to end oppression will never be over, but my "Pollyanna" world is still intact because, you see….I saw their faces.

Jamie

"Is My Son Going to Wear a Dress?"
Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation
by Stephen M. White, Psy.D.

When parents first learn that a child is gay, one of the most confusing issues can be understanding the concepts of gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation. This brief article will describe the difference between these terms and discuss how they are related to each other.

The term "gender" indicates whether someone behaves in a masculine or feminine manner, while sexual orientation refers to whether one is attracted to people of the same sex or the opposite sex. Putting these concepts together, a man may be masculine (gender) and heterosexual (sexual orientation), masculine and gay, feminine and heterosexual, or feminine and gay. Similarly, women may possess any combination of these qualities: feminine and heterosexual, feminine and lesbian, masculine and heterosexual, or masculine and gay. Media stereotypes of gay people often portray them as gender atypical: gay men are depicted as feminine, and lesbians are shown to be masculine. This may lead some parents to wonder whether their young children are gay if they see their son acting in feminine ways or consider their girl to be a tomboy. There is some truth to this stereotype. Research on childhood behavior indicates that children who display atypical gender roles often are gay when they grow up. The catch is that this pattern is not seen in all people: not all gay adults showed cross-gender behavior as children, and some children who act in gender atypical ways grow up to be heterosexual. This same pattern holds for adults: some gay men and women act in gender atypical ways and some don't, although in general gay people are often more comfortable crossing gender lines than heterosexuals are.

Speaking of crossing lines, one of the most worrisome and confusing behaviors that parents wonder about is whether their child may wear clothes ordinarily worn by the opposite sex, referred to as "cross-dressing" or dressing "in drag." Parents of gay sons in particular may wonder whether their son is going to start wearing a dress now that he is openly gay. While some gay men and women do dress in "drag" at times, this is usually done on particular occasions for social commentary or entertainment. Gay communities may hold "drag balls," some of which are depicted in the film Paris is Burning, in which gay men (and occasionally women) engage in an elaborate competition for best appearance and performance. In everyday life gay men usually do not wear highly feminine clothing. It is much more common for lesbians to dress in traditionally male clothes, just as it is more common for heterosexual women to dress in men's clothes than vice versa.

While "cross-dressing" is sometimes used to mean any form of dressing in clothing worn by the opposite sex, the term more specifically refers to people who cross-dress for enjoyment or excitement, a group formerly referred to as "transvestites." Interestingly, research on these individuals indicates that most cross-dressers are heterosexual men.

There is another group of people who often dress in the clothes of the opposite sex: transsexuals. Transsexuals are people whose gender identity, or personal sense of being male or female, does not match their biological sex. While gay people may dress in drag to make a political statement, and cross-dressers do so for excitement, transsexuals dress in the clothes of the opposite sex simply because they are more comfortable that way. In fact, transsexuals would not consider this dressing as the opposite sex, but rather as dressing as their true sex.

So what can you expect from your child's behavior? Most likely many of the same behaviors you have seen already. If your child was feminine before, he or she will continue to be so. If your daughter was a tomboy growing up, she will probably retain some masculine traits as an adult. If your child's clothing has always been consistent with his or her biological sex, this is unlikely to suddenly change. Though it can be a shock to learn that your child is gay or transsexual, it is important for you to remember that many aspects of your child's life and personality are the same as you have always known.

KERRY’S DAUGHTER SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE

BY MAGGIE HABERMAN
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

BOSTON - John Kerry's younger daughter stood her ground yesterday, supporting gay marriage even as the Democrats are trying to sidestep the lightning-rod issue on the convention floor.

"To be fair - I've been on the record about it - I personally believe in gay marriage," Vanessa Kerry volunteered at a reporters' breakfast, when asked if she has any political disagreements with her dad.

"And he believes in civil unions, which is still equal rights under the law," said Vanessa, who sat next to her sister, Alexandra. She added: "I respect his opinion enormously ... but if you want to get into the semantics of it, that's it."

And though off-message, she was quick to add: "I'm very, very proud of my father's politics."

And while consistent with what the 27-year-old Harvard medical student has said in the past, her remarks came as Democrats have excluded gay marriage from the party's platform.

President Bush has made his opposition to gay marriage a centerpiece of his appeal to his conservative base and uses it as a cudgel to hammer Kerry as a liberal from the first state in the union to legalize gay nuptials.

Alan Van Cappelle of the Empire State Pride Agenda said, "I couldn't be any happier that Vanessa Kerry supports gay marriage, and it's always good when people close to the next President of the United States share those views."

He also praised the Kerry-Edwards ticket as "the most pro" gay community ever.

Also yesterday, the Kerry sisters said they have yet to meet their counterparts - the fun-loving Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara - but have gotten tips on the spotlight from Al Gore's daughters, Chelsea Clinton and even Ron Reagan.

They concede they're "scared" about the loss of privacy in the coming months - and possibly years, if their father wins.

PFLAG SUPPORTS REAL FAMILY VALUES