Articles From Our July, 2005 Newsletter

Many of us were shocked and surprised when, on a Monday morning, we looked at the obituary page and saw this picture of Helen Cohen accompanied by the words below.

Only a couple of days before her operation she answered my email:

“...Please do stay in touch. I don't know much about the tumor(s)? I can't think ahead more than two hours. Much love, Helen”

And oh did she love! She shared it freely and with great abandon. We always knew where Helen stood....and she always stood in the right places, whether it be in the midst of her family, or in the midst of the turmoil of the crucial issues, standing for the rights of those whose rights are consistently denied. She will be sorely missed.

She has passed on the baton. Let’s pick it up. Russ Hawkins

Helen Cohen, of Kansas City, Mo., died June 18, 2005, of complications following surgery. She was born in Brooklyn, New York, on August 21, 1934, to Harriet and Sol Jacobson.

She attended Hunter College, where she received a B.A. in international affairs, and had graduate degrees in education from Temple University in Philadelphia and UMKC. In 1957, she married Harvey Cohen, who died in 1999, with whom she had three children.

Helen Cohen was a passionate advocate of progressive political causes. Throughout her life, she was active in labor movements, civil rights, human rights, and women's rights organizations. She was for many years the president of the Kansas City chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, as well as an active member of other gay advocacy groups. She also worked tirelessly in the causes of global peace and justice.

Her professional experience as an educator included working as a teacher, specialist, and administrator in elementary and secondary schools in New York, Philadelphia, and Kansas City; teaching graduate courses in education; and serving as an educational researcher and administrator.

Helen was a vivacious lover of life who traveled extensively, particularly in Latin America, and had friends across the country and the world. She is lovingly remembered by her brother, Robert Jacobson, of New York; her children, Charlotte Cohen and Rachel DeSario, of New York; and William Cohen, of Washington, DC; three grandchildren, Dante, Lorenzo, and Rosa DeSario; and many devoted friends and relatives.

Donations can be made in Helen's name to ACLU, Planned Parenthood, or PFLAG.

It is so difficult to write about Helen Cohen and her passing because to me she was larger than life itself.

Many pflag and board members have known Helen longer than I have which, again, makes this incredibly hard.

Maybe I should begin with my very first encounter with this magnificent woman …it was on the phone. I called the PFLAG hotline and was given her number. Without thinking twice I dialed and, luckily for me, she was home. She was so engaging on the phone that I simply had to attend a meeting to see what this organization was all about. Upon entering the meeting room I knew instantly who she was. Her light and laughter filled the space. We embraced and she said something like “Sweetheart, I’m so glad you made it.”

Sound familiar? Well. I kept coming back because my instincts told me that this was a woman I needed to be learning from. And learn I did. She knew I was anxious about stepping into her role on the board but she encouraged me and assured me that I could do this and that she would always be there to answer any questions I had. My initial fear (aside from my own inadequacies) was that I’d be stepping into HER shoes.

My freedom came when I realized that no one could possibly fill her shoes nor should they try. There is a space made for each of us that only we can fill. Helen Cohen just happened to be one of those people who managed to fill their space to overflowing. When I heard people speak about Helen who had known her for many years it was hard not to be jealous of the time they had with her. But then I realized that to meet Helen was to know her. She was this great and mystical combination of brassy broad and compassionate lady. You may not have always agreed with her but there was never any doubt about where she stood--she was never false in any way. She lived boldly and powerfully and she let us see her heart- every day. For that, dear Helen, we are eternally grateful.

Jamie Lee

Our July speakers are two engaging couples who have been attending our pflag meetings for a year now--come hear the stories of the journeys they have taken. It's always fun to learn from one another.

We have two wonderful children, a son and daughter, of whom we are very proud. Our daughter finished university and is now working, while our son is just completing his software engineering program. We have been in Kansas for about two years, having been relocated for Greg’s job. Just a few months before the news of our move to a different country, we also learned that both of our children are gay. What an interesting journey this has been!
Greg and Gwyn Shelton

In his junior year of high school our son Greg came out to us and told us he was gay. On that day we started a journey we never anticipated taking and one that has taken many interesting turns. Even as he prepares to leave for college in a few weeks we know that there are still some unknown parts of this path we have yet to walk but we have learned much in the past year and half that has prepared us for this next stage of life: for him and for us.
Dustin and Ruth Cooper

Come join us at Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Road, Prairie Village, KS. at 3pm.

There is always great fellowship, good refreshments, and a wonderfully stimulating program.

Washington, D.C. - July 1, 2005 - In light of the today’s retirement announcement of Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, PFLAG families across the nation urge the President to consult with the Senate and name a consensus nominee who will protect the minority rather than be blinded by dogmatic ideology.

As the voice of last resort for many minorities in the U.S. the Supreme Court has an obligation to uphold the constitutional rights and protections of all Americans. The Senate should fulfill its "advise and consent" role by carefully reviewing any nominee’s record to assure that the court consists of qualified, fair judges who will serve the best interests of all of our families and loved ones.

"The president has an obligation to represent all Americans and that includes the GLBT community and their families," said Elizabeth Hampton Brown, a former civil rights’ scholar for the Department of Justice and PFLAG’s judicial issues specialist. "We urge both the President and the Senate to make sure that this lifetime nominee has bi-partisan support and a record that reflects a commitment to individual rights and freedoms."

"This is an important moment for GLBT people, their families and their allies," said Jody Huckaby, PFLAG’s Executive Director. "In the near future, the Supreme Court may be faced with the decision to either safeguard or ignore our community’s fundamental rights. This is our chance to make sure that the justices making that decision are independent from partisan politics."

PFLAG SUPPORTS REAL FAMILY VALUES