Articles From Our May, 2007 Newsletter

Potluck

Come join us on Sunday, May 13th at 3:00pm, for our annual Mother’s Day potluck when we gather together to share pictures and stories about our mothers. There will be no formal meeting, just the all-important sharing of fun and fellowship and, of course, good food.
Bring enough food for your loved ones plus a bit more for those who might come not knowing there was a potluck planned.
Our meetings are held at Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Rd.
Room 307. Come and join us. We’d love to see you.

Heartland Men’s Chorus

Don’t forget the next Heartland Men’s Chorus concert which will be held on Saturday, June 9 at 8 pm, and Sunday, June 10th at 4 pm at the Folly Theater.
THE PINK CARPET
Gays, Lesbians and Hollywood

How has Hollywood portrayed homosexuals and how do these images affect public opinion? From early “talkies” to Brokeback Mountain, HMC takes you through 100 years of Hollywood history. Inspired by the book and documentary The Celluloid Closet, this enlightening and entertaining concert combines provocative narration, film clips and the voices of Heartland Men’s Chorus in a dazzling original production.
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Visit hmckc.org to order Heartland Men’s Chorus CDs and DVDs, including A New December, our latest holiday release and All God’s Children, an original documentary.

From Our President

Hello everyone--you are getting a break from my ramblings this month! Our very own Rosie Stoneking just wrote these articles for those families that might be wrestling with faith issues. Her lesbian daughter also happens to be a minister in California....Enjoy.
Hope to see many of you at the picnic and/or on Mother's Day. Jamie

WHY HAVING THE LABEL OF “WELCOMING” IS IMPORTANT
By Rosie Stoneking

1. If I were a parent of young children looking for a church I would want to be sure my church was Welcoming because I don’t know whether one of my children is gay or lesbian. The label says a great deal about what I can expect to be taught and what will not be taught in Sunday School.

2. If I were a parent of a young man or woman who had come out to me as being gay or lesbian I would want to be sure that this would make no difference to our church and that if he or she wanted to date persons of the same sex, this would be seen as “no big deal”.

3. If I were a gay or lesbian person looking for a home church, I wouldn’t even consider going to a mainline protestant church that was not Welcoming, etc. because I want to be completely out as a gay or lesbian person without feeling I would offend someone just by being me.

4. If I were a gay or lesbian person still in the process of “coming out” perhaps even to myself, I would need a congregation that would be a safe place where I could feel comfortable and accepted as a gay or lesbian person, yet who knew that telling others that I am gay or lesbian is something that is best left to me.

5. If I were a gay or lesbian person I would want to know I could bring my partner to church with me and our relationship would be seen as natural and positive as any other relationship between two persons who love each other and want to have, or are in, a committed relationship. I would not want to worry that even one person in the church might feel free to politely discount me or my partner in any way because of our sexual orientation. I understand that if folks have not been around openly gay couples before, there is a learning curve, and then you don’t even notice, except in the same way you do when a heterosexual couple shows appropriate affection for each other.

6. If I were a gay or lesbian person, or the parent of one, I would want my church to openly bless gay and lesbian marriage. Even if the ceremony did not have legal implications, the union can be recognized and blessed by the church, if that church’s denomination is in agreement.

7. If I were a gay or lesbian person, or had a family member who was, I would want to know that children of GLBT (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgendered) persons are baptized during the service and the family is recognized as no different, spiritually, than any other family.

8. If I were a GLBT person, or had a family member who was, or just a person wanting to teach Sunday School, I would want to know that Sunday School teachers would be teaching that “there are many different kinds of families and that the definition of a family is a group of people who love each other. Sometimes they live together, but they always take care of each other by being kind and helping each other. People living together as families can have one parent or two, two dads or two moms, two parents and one or two step parents, grandparent(s) with or without the parents, adults who foster children, one adult living alone, etc.”

All of these practices characterize a truly Welcoming church but are not necessarily recognized by the community at large without “the label”.

The Process of Becoming Welcoming
By Rosie Stoneking

1. Any congregation that seriously takes up this discussion should commend themselves because they are looking for ways to make the world better.

2. As I was reading over the list of reasons supporting the importance of labels, I realized that discussing these might bring up situations that folks had not thought about from a GLBT perspective. Just discussing these issues might be disconcerting to some folks, not because of their own prejudice, but because of the newness of the situations.

3. The ideal is that we wouldn’t need a label. But we don’t live in an ideal world. When persons are talking about a common experience of oppression, it is necessary to have some way to do that. Having members of the congregation discuss whether or not to label their church as Welcoming is a way for these persons to grapple with the ugliness of the reality that wonderfully talented and devout persons are being ostracized from participating fully in life as we know it, both in the church and in society, if they are fully “out” as homosexuals. Therefore the discussion is a way for persons to realize their own ignorance and false assumptions. The pay off is not only the spiritual and emotional growth of the members, but the GLBT persons who are members or who will become members will feel accepted and understood at a much deeper level.

4. The church needs to be careful not to assume that any GLBT persons who are already part of the congregation would want to provide a leadership role in this effort. They might, but they might prefer that the leadership come from those not afflicted by the current status quo. Sometimes a process can open up hidden bias. This is painful.

5. Looking for ways we can be more faithful and more open can be painful for committed Christians because we all have blind spots. Most of the time most of us are unaware of the depth of discrimination against homosexual persons in our society, particularly the psychic pain and even physical pain it causes. Even well meaning folks usually consider homosexuality a lesser way of being, when in reality it is just as full and rich and wonderful as being heterosexual. It is ignorance as well as unconscious and conscious rejection, hostility, and arrogance that make it difficult for homosexual persons to participate in life fully and honestly.

6. I started on this fulfilling and worthwhile journey when my daughter told me she was a lesbian. My consciousness has been raised primarily through conversations – listening and “hanging out” with her, her partner, and their friends, getting to know other GLBT (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgendered) persons and their parents at PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meetings. Watching videos of GLBT persons talking about their experiences, reading books, and participating in workshops have helped me better understand the world from their eyes. It is definitely an intentional and inspiring journey!

Picnic

Mark your calendar now to attend the LGBT Community Wide Picnic on Saturday, May 12, 12 noon, at Swope Park.
Bring your own picnic food or coordinate food items with others in your organization. We hope to share food as much as possible, so bring a group dish along if you can. LGCC will provide grills and paper goods.
We'll have games for all ages. Please tell your friends, families, organizations, etc. about this event so we can have a great turn-out to show unity in our community.
We'll be wanting to get a rough headcount, so please RSVP ASAP to Randy Fowler (913) 894-5748 or . Be sure to have the subject line read community picnic.
Look forward to seeing you at noon on May 12 at Swope!

PFLAG SUPPORTS REAL FAMILY VALUES